Black Out
by Doctor Strangelove
Summary: Matt investigates the mysterious power outage in his hotel room. Slash [MattTed]


"Black Out"

* * *

"What the hell was that?" 

"What was what?"

"Ted, what are you talking about? The power went out!"

"Did it?"

"What do you mean, 'did it'?" You're sitting here in the dark."

"Oh. Yeah. That was weird."

"Did you have something to do with this?"

"No! Why is it anytime something that can somehow be tied to radioactivity gets blamed on the radioactive guy? At the diner this morning, Bennet's bacon was burnt, and he tried to blame that on me too."

"Ted, you burnt his bacon while he was in the bathroom."

"That's not the point, Parkman."

"I'm sorry if I accused you. Here, let me try again. Ted, do you happen to know anything about this power shortage?"

"…No."

"Okay, fine, thanks. Well then maybe it was just- wait, why aren't you wearing a shirt?"

"I was hot."

"Okay. Sure."

"What are you smiling at, Parkman?"

"Ted, while I was in the shower, were you…?"

"What? No! Of course not."

"Oh my God, you were."

"Was not."

"Mind reader, Ted. You can't really lie to me. You were definitely touching yourself. And while I was in the shower; I could've walked out any minute."

"I would've heard you turn off the water."

"Still."

"And it wasn't like that. I was just, you know, having a self-examination."

"Oh, I'm sure you were."

"I'm radioactive, Parkman. I'm at high risk for testicular cancer."

"I'm not here to judge you, Ted."

"Someone's knocking at the door, Parkman."

"I can hear them."

"Well, why don't you answer it?"

"Fine, Ted. Don't bother getting up. I'll get the door."

"What the hell is going on in here with you two?"

"Hi, Bennet. How are you?"

"Why did I return from the gas station to find that the power in our entire hotel and most of the surrounding buildings is out?"

"Ted was beating off, and it shorted out the power."

"…"

"I was not!"

"Yeah he was."

"Well don't let it happen again, Ted."

"Good night, Bennet."

"Did you have to tell him that? God, it's like an old wives tale: touch yourself and God will take away our electricity."

"How does that even work?"

"I was thinking bright, not hot."

"Thanks for that visual. Not what I meant. I mean, does an orgasm just make you lose control of your powers?"

"Evidently. That's the first time I've done that in a long while, so I'm not really an expert. Does it ever happen to you? What am I saying? What, are you going to extra hear peoples' thoughts?"

"Well, sometimes. I think it gets stronger. I can pick up peoples' dreams sometimes."

"Really?"

"Yeah, not fun. It's kind of terrifying to be just, you know, in the moment and suddenly I've got visions of giant snakes in my head."

"Huh, that's weird. I was having a dream about giant snakes the other- Oh my God! You were doing that while I was asleep?"

"Well, um…"

"I at least waited until you were _out of the room_, Parkman!"

"Sorry. It had been a while."

"It's been a long time for me too, but I had some self restraint. Wait, was that the night we had to share a bed?"

"…I don't remember."

"You were yanking yourself right _next to me_!?"

"It's not like I was facing you."

"That is highly inappropriate, Parkman."

"Well, the rest of your giant snake dream was fairly inappropriate too, Ted."

"…How much of did you see or hear or whatever?"

"Enough."

"It was a dream, Parkman. It doesn't mean anything. Is that why you were giving yourself the low five?"

"Low five? What are you, in seventh grade? No. I only picked up on your dreams when I was finished, remember?"

"Right. Okay then."

"Well now that we've broached the subject-"

"I'm not doing anything with you like that, Parkman."

"That's not what I was going to say, but I think it's interesting that's the first place your mind went, Ted. I was going to say, maybe we should work out some sort of schedule, so that we've each got some alone time set aside."

"That's… not a terrible idea. Same thing my roommate and I did in college."

"Hey, the power's back on."

"I can see that, Parkman. Idiot."

"Ted?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you wearing anything underneath those sheets?"

"You said I can't lie to you, right?"

"Right."

"Then no."

"I see. I've got nothing on under the towel. I'm just suddenly very aware of how much clothing we're not wearing."

"I see your point."

"We might want to do something about this."

"I was thinking the same thing, Parkman."

"…"

"…"

"Oh. Okay. Well, that was very, um, sweet of you, Ted, but I was suggesting we should both get dressed."

"Oh. Well, I was just kidding, Parkman."

"I'm sure."

"I _was_!"

"Mind reader, Ted."

"Well… it's been a _really_ long time."

"How flattering. I think I'm just going to go to bed, though."

"Um, Parkman, this is my bed."

"I know."

"You have your own."

"I know."

"I'm still in mine."

"I know."

"Naked."

"I know."

"You're in just a towel."

"It takes you a long time to take a hint, Ted."

"Oh, well, okay, if you want to do something, I guess that's cool. Are you sure?"

"Like I said, it's been a long time for me too."

"How do we get started?"

"I guess in the usual way."

"They just got the power back on."

"Hey, if they fixed it once…"

"They can fix it again."


End file.
